Disappointment

Today I had my 3 month review at work. I did not really have any expectations for it but I ended up being disappointed in myself. I was really expecting a raise and I did not receive one. The main reason is that I received a "Satisfactory" marking in the category of personal involvement. They said that I seemed distracted at times from being fully involved in my work. Which is absolutely true! I have felt distracted at work the past few months because I'm to busy thinking about what's next, what I can move on to that will benefit me more. Me, me, me.
I'm disappointed because I feel like I failed them and I failed myself. Somehow my ego kept telling me that this was just a phase - I can do better then this job and this pay. When did I become so selfish? That's not the person I thought I was or the person I want to become. I want to live where I am, live everyday to my potential whether I'm at work or not. And when you work full-time that means you are at work most of your days. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have become thankful for my job but this was just confirming that I waited to long to be thankful. I should have been thankful from the first day and thrown myself into it without always daydreaming of bigger and better things. Because God put me there for a reason. I only hope that I can fulfill the purpose He has for me as long as He has me at the Marriott.